June 12, 2008 11:20
Nerd Archives -- 1983
The following is an unedited transcription of one of Matt Selman's actual seventh grade homework assignments.
I would like to meet...
I would like to meet Zaphod Beeblebrox from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams for three reasons.
Zaphod has three arms and two heads. I think it would be interesting to meet someone with three arms and two heads who has been 5,000,000 light years away from Earth. I could ask him how far the Universe actually goes and who is, if anyone, the ruler of the Universe.
Another reason I would like to meet Zaphod is that I could ask him, "What is it like to have to always disagreeing heads, and on which side is your third arm?"
The last reason I would like to meet him is that Zaphod could show me all around the Universe, and we could go to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
And that is why I would like to meet Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Teacher's comment: A good choice of topic. Your reasoning is very clear.
About Nerd World
Lev Grossman
Lev Grossman blogs about anything and everything that could be plausibly labeled geeky--science fiction, fantasy, video games, comic books, tech stuff, and so on. If it could get you beaten up in junior high, it's fair game. About the Author
Matt Selman
Matt Selman has worked on eleven seasons and over two hundred episodes of The Simpsons. He currently serves as an Executive Producer. About the Author
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Reader Comments (8)
I think I wrote just about the same paper when I was in seventh grade.
Posted by DayLabor | June 12, 2008 12:25 PM
I too offered up an early school assignment for the public to view. Of course, this was a few years later, when I was in junior high and the public was my classmates and teacher and I was just lazy about writing something new. Mr. Selman, you write for a major magazine's website and get paid to do it. A major news magazine, with many international editions, with some of the brightest people on the planet being contributors.
Posted by Alex9 | June 12, 2008 1:32 PM
Interesting - I also read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in 7th grade, and I also thought old ZB was the most awesome dude ever.
Never wrote an essay on him, though.
Posted by Cliff | June 12, 2008 2:39 PM
These are great. Good on Teach for the comments, too.
Alex9, This article may be of interest:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog
Posted by Church | June 12, 2008 8:20 PM
Lol, sounds like we're all about the same age.
Posted by Nerdworld Fanboi | June 13, 2008 8:51 AM
Must be a boy thing, I thought Zaphod was annoying as heck when I read those books.
Posted by Meredith | June 13, 2008 10:02 AM
Wow It really must be a 7th grade thing because I remember doing a paper as well.
I woulda rather met Ford though.
Posted by Lintila | June 13, 2008 12:53 PM
Not all the same age. I read it in seventh grade too, but that was just about a year ago. You call that an essay?
Posted by Tereglith | June 13, 2008 6:02 PM