Who Somethings the Something?

I just Googled the phrase “Who Watches the Watchmen Trailer,” and got 545 hits. So much for that blog title.

Lord, I wish I had the strength of will to wait see this trailer as it was meant to be seen: in a theater crammed with fanboys lusting to see The Dark Knight -- fanboys who don't know that before Nolan's sad sad sad masterpiece unfolds, they are going to get a special treat -- a preview for the most-awaited comic book movie adaption, sort of, of all time. To experience this trailer with them, in a giant room full of positive nerd energy, would be quite a dorkgasm.

But I don't have that kind of will power. I just checked out the Watchmen trailer in Quicktime. It would have been nice to wait, and experience the trailer with the unwashed hordes, but that just doesn't jibe with my new Old Man Movie-Going Philosophy, which goes a little something like this: WHO CARES? SHOW UP LATE. Being uptight about missing the trailers is a young man's game. So, sacrifice the excitement and chills and mystery of the shared trailer-seeing-for-the-first-time experience, and flop into my reserved seat at the Arclight Hollywood a few minutes after Batman Begins.

If I were Dr. Manhattan, perhaps I would alter reality so no movie trailers were available on the internet – and restore movie-going to its more innocent days, where a trailer was something you could only see in the theaters. But, I'm more like Nite Owl, a fat, old, has-been with a dusty super-car in his garage, so I will have to live with reality the way it is: you watch trailers by yourself on a computer after your kids are asleep.

I'm not really in the business of reviewing trailers, or movies, but here's a few thoughts. First, there's no mention of Alan Moore at all in the credits, which read: “Based on the Graphic Novel Illustrated by Dave Gibbons.” Well, it sure is, as Zac Snyder sure has filmed verbatim many of Gibbons' (and Moore's) classic panels. Also, they've clearly sexed and actioned-up the Silk Spectre and Nite Owl (where's Daniel's pot belly?), and Dr. Manhattan also seems pretty roided-up. (On the bright side, I think I got a peek of his cosmic dong. So they're keeping it real in that crucial area.)