by Ana Marie Cox

1. The difference between a "benchmark" and a "timetable" is that benchmarks will help you win, whereas "Withdrawing on an artificial timetable means we lose." Corallary: The difference between "winning" and "losing" in Iraq is whether or not we are in Iraq. As long as we are there, we are winning. We're sort of starting to understand why he thinks Republicans will keep the House now.

2. Bush would like us to know he is NOT staying the course. Far from it. In fact, "Today I will explain how we're adapting our tactics," because "[a]s the enemy shifts tactics, we are shifting our tacticsl." You see, "[o]n the military side, our commanders on the ground are constantly adjusting our tactics."And, of course, "we're taking new steps to help secure Baghdad, and constantly adjusting our tactics." Really, what he means is "my point to the American people is, is that we're constantly adjusting our tactics." No, seriously: "And that's important for the American people to know, that we're constantly changing tactics." Why? Well, "I do not want to leave before we achieve victory. And the best way to do that is to make sure we have a strategy that works, tactics that adjust to the enemy." Put another way, "[w]hat will work is a strategy that's constantly -- tactics that constantly change to meet the enemy." Ooops. Almost used a synonym there. Don't want to confuse people. Or the person giving the speech.

3. "Why aren't you going to fire that incompent boob?" is "Washington code" for "Tell me how great a job the incompent boob is doing." ("Heck of a job, Brownie" now makes total sense.)

4. The difference between the Iraq War and World War II is simple: "This is a war against extremists and radicals who kill innocent people to achieve political objectives. It has a multiple of fronts." Also? "We were facing a nation state -- two nation states -- three nation states in World War II."

5. The midterms are NOT a referendum on Iraq. They're a referendum on lollipops and and gum drops! Or whatever it is they vote for on the planet Bush is currently visiting.

ELSEWHERE ON THE WEB: You know things are bad for the Republicans when Michelle Malkin mocks you: "Bush has also asked Saudi Arabia (great) and Jordan to help persuade Sunni insurgents to accept 'national reconciliation.' Goooood luck." Less polite sarcasm from Rude Pundit: "Bush like campaign. Campaign fun. Eat chicken. Shake hands. No hard thinking." Over at the Corner, the point that "America's patience is not unlimited" is dubbed a "useful line." According to ABC, the official Democratic response featured "some guy talking to his car dealer, elevator music from someone's phone being on hold, continuous loud beeping, and odd heavy breathing."