Scary thought: I must change my life

Not just women, Ms. Cullen. Everyone asks this question at some point.

Not sure if the stereotypical male answer, getting a fast car and a slutty pink pirate, really solves anything. But they look happy...

Well, I have been graduated for 10 months and this feeling ("I have to change my life") is already scaring me. But I guess no one who becomes scared easily DO change his/hers life.

Change is bad.

Staying in a comfortable, mildly-satisfying, decent-paying job is all that a person can hope for these days. I have seen people strike out and try to do something different only to fail and regret their "second act". If your second act consists of starting a new career, you have no future.

The only true second act in life revolves around making a passive income and falling out of touch with current trends and culture. This can only be accomplished by getting a minimum of $10 million and making at least 5% interest a year on that money. This will provide $500,000 income a year before taxes. There is really nothing that can hold you back from living it up then. You can even take that money to a foreign country and live a better life than you could in the U.S.

Going from one career to another is like going from McDonalds to Burger King and expecting low-calorie and low fat food. It just will not happen. Stick to what you know if you do not have a shot at getting rich. The money is all that matters.

Not very inspirational, Yadygu. There are many people who search out Act Two and find their passion! Not many of us retire with the same career or job title that we intended upon graduation from college. While some stability and ability to earn an income are important, there's more to life than simply spinning one's wheels at a job that isn't interesting.

Mrs. Cullen-

Look at it this way:

You got this realization 10 years before the other ladies have, and have all of that time to put to a more satisfying career/life.

If they are not satisfied with the stratospheric carrer that they've had, why should you continue to aspire to be them?

Find something else that excites you. You don't necessarily need some facy title to be happy.
Where's your Act Two? You make your own, of course!

If that Act Two is not successful or if the grass is not greener on the other side, you still have your experience of the past 15 years and your eduction, same as you do now.

How can you lose? Just be sure to keep a blog going!!

"While some stability and ability to earn an income are important, there's more to life than simply spinning one's wheels at a job that isn't interesting."

I will admit that there is nothing fun about working and paying bills. But working and NOT being able to pay the bills is not a better alternative. This happens to many people who strike out into other careers. Stability is boring, but instability is frightening. It is during times of instability that the worst things possible happen.

People just do not work for a paycheck. They also work for health benefits, life insurance, retirement savings, experience, and contacts in the professional world. When people proceed to the second act, they go through a period of shock when they realize that they have to work just as hard as before for less money, less seniority, less benefits, and less respect.

People do not allow a smooth transition when making the switch. They go into it blind witha sense that the unknown is exhilarating. But that high from the unknown goes away fast when the misery of reality comes in.

If you lower your expectations in life, you will possibly come out alright.

Act II is *better*.

I spent almost a quarter of a century working in a salaried office job, slogging through years of pointless Monday meetings and status reports and praying for snow just so I could have a day off.

Now I'm a contractor. *I* decide what project I want to bid on, and *I* decide where and when I'm going to work.

If I want a raise, I just bid higher on the contract.

If I need a day off, I *take* a day off.

I'm happy, the mortgage company is happy, and I see my family and my home a lot more often than when I worked for The Man in Cube-land.

Don't sweat the future.

thanks, friends.

i get the sense my act 2 is coming up a lot sooner than 2017.

Two women I know -- one a managing director at a well known Wall Street firm and the other the president of a major corporation -- also just decided to step aside to seek an Act Two after 20 or so years on the job. I think they just got burnt out and genuinely wanted to spend more time with their families. I imagine they will have enough accrued income to live a stable and comfortable existence going forward. I think their move is a sign of the times. The corporate world, with all its rhetoric about being family friendly, often tends not to be.

Ms. Cullen, you are blessed to be able to work from home. Many women (and men) do not have that luxury. I am struck that your colleagues' desire to move on has made you quake in your boots. Why is their move somehow a signal to you that you must change? While I think it's a good idea to plan for the future, I also think that life can become narrow and boring if we try to plan too much for our future. Work (regardless of what type of work it is) for a spiritual person like yourself always has meaning and value when it's done with love and as a service. As we age, our likes and dislikes change. Our skills and experience increase and the things that challenge us change in the process. Hopefully we mature and grow in our understanding that what matters most is not so much what we do, but for whom and how we do it.

I wonder about this often. In my business you don't see many editorial types over 45. The burnout rate is just too high. The only option for the older me in this field is freelance. While the pay is amazing, freelancers routinely get the work no salaried employee wants to do. That means weekends and nights, and editing 200-page monographs with hundreds of references. If you never have to spend 80 hours slogging through a monograph, consider yourself lucky.

melissa--thanks for the beautiful comment.

ger, i'm not sure what a monograph is, but it doesn't sound fun.

why is everyone calling me ms. cullen?! for heck's sake. i'm lisa.

Yep, certain parts are scary when you have kids, a mortgage, and student loans up the wazoo!, but your next act is your next big adventure (Dumbledore was talking about death, but I think we can apply it to career moves.)
I was once told that people generally average 8 career moves in their lives. And I've come to realize every change I've made has made my life better. Sure there were (really) rough times and times when I questioned my sanity, but I like the person that I've become. And when the time comes for your next move you'll enjoy it too.

well social work is terrible...go back for nursing

I wonder if I am insane myself. I'm a senior nursing student who's about to graduate in May. Looking back, I never really enjoyed nursing, but I continue because I know I could easily find a job and make decent money. Now, I really regret continuing a career I am uninterested in. I have alot of loans, about $40,000 when I graduate. I don't want to work as a nurse, but I need a decent job to pay off my loans for the past four years. What I really want to do is travel around the world, and work freely in non-professional jobs, such as a waittress, a bartender, a tutor, or a volunteer - I AM CRAZY RIGHT?!?! I want to trade in a nursing career for a traveling experience. But how do I survive a traveling life with all the loans I have? Even so, I really wish to travel and enjoy life learning about foreign countries. I do not like the stability of staying in one profession, or one place. I don't like the commitment of having to work 40 hours a week... is there still a chance for me out there?

Ms. Cullen:

I ran across your blog on "I Need to Change My Life" the other day and it seemed appropriate to incorporate it in my web article regarding new year resolutions since changing my life is the theme of that article.

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