March 26, 2008 8:00
What a (good-looking) woman wants
She gets the best man—and the best jobs. / SAG
When it comes to getting what we want—or wanting what we get—women, it turns out, are realistic.
A study published in this month's Evolutionary Psychology says that we women calibrate what we desire in a mate according to our own perceived degree of attractiveness. According to ScienceDaily,
"When reviewing the qualities they desire in romantic partners, women gauge what they can get based on what they got," said [David Buss, psychology researcher at The University of Texas at Austin and a co-author of the study]. "And women who are considered physically attractive maintain high standards for prospective partners across a variety of characteristics."
The researchers identified four categories of characteristics women seek in a partner:
• good genes, reflected in desirable physical traits,
• resources,
• the desire to have children and good parenting skills, and
• loyalty and devotion.
So according to this research, if I think I'm Angelina Jolie, then I'm gonna look for a man who scores top marks in all those categories (well, hello, Brad Pitt). If I think I look like Rudy Giuliani in drag, then I'm gonna ratchet my expectations waaay down.
Got me to wonder: does this apply when job-hunting, too? Studies have found that good-looking people score higher in job interviews (what, this surprises you?). Do the Natalie Portmans and George Clooneys of the business world go through life with certain expectations about the caliber of work they attain?
About Work In Progress
Nina Subin
Lisa Takeuchi Cullen is a staff writer for TIME. She blogs about work. Why? Because TV was taken. Think of her as the grumpy colleague ranting by the water cooler.
More about the Author
Email her here:
lisa_cullen at timemagazine.com
RSS Feed
 |
Daily Email
Work In Progress Archives
Blog Roll
- Brazen Careerist
- Blogher Career
- Work It, a Blog for Working Moms
- HR Wench
- Secrets of the Job Hunt
- The Future of Work
- George's Employment Blawg
- The Blogfathers
- Diversity Jobs Blog
- Momsrising Blogs
- Workblogging
- Manpower Blogs
- AlterNet Workplace
- Job Search Blogs
- Get that Job
- Workplace Fairness
- Workplace Prof Blog
Reader Comments (6)
It makes it sound like choosing a car. What about that mysterious force that draws people together?
This is what is taught these days--that everything has to be chosen based solely on the intellect. As well, when our mate no longer fits the bill, just get divorced and look for something better. We live in a passionless, disposable, star crazy, country. It's really sad.
Posted by joekleinisaidiot | March 26, 2008 11:11 AM
"women gauge what they can get based on what they got"
I would change this to: both men and women gauge what they can get based on what THEY BELIEVE they've got.
It's all about confidence my dears.
Posted by hrwench
|
March 26, 2008 3:44 PM
I agree with most of all what has been said. Attractive people do USUALLY expect and receive preferential treatment in every aspect of their lives. It is often a shame. However, those that feel that they are not attractive, should, and really have to display more confidence in the attributes they're trying to market, specifically thinking in the job market arena. This preferential treatment does not just occur when choosing mates, or in the job market, it occurs in every aspect of ones' life, from the supermarket, to dining out. Attractive people get more attention. As far as marriage and not feeling attractive anymore to your spouse, if your marriage is based on love, respect, and admiration, growing old together was the ultimate goal of a marriage, and once that process starts, the other should not be abondoned.
Posted by leedo | March 27, 2008 2:20 AM
In both the dating market and the workplace, I suggest we all follow the "Serenity Prayer" principles when it comes to our appearance -- accept what we cannot change, change what we can, and have the wisdom to know the difference.
What can we change? We can watch our weight, stay in good physical shape, and dress and groom well, all of which to some extent can make up for an inherently less "attractive" face and/or body.
Furthermore, "inner beauty" or attractiveness is a real phenomenon, I think. The impression that a person is "attractive" may be different when one simply views a photograph than when one meets the person and converses. A vibrant, genuine, and intelligent demeanor-- and good sense of humor -- goes a long way, I believe.
Posted by George Lenard | March 27, 2008 1:23 PM
I read something long ago that claimed research proving that even little babies respond more positively to a pretty woman tending to them. Perhaps it's more ingrained than we thought...
Posted by Viviana
|
March 27, 2008 8:24 PM
The whole question brings to mind an exchange in Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest:
Algernon: "You are the prettiest girl I ever saw."
Cecily: "Miss Prism says that all good looks are a snare."
Algernon: "Then they are a snare that any sensible man would like to be caught in."
Bait/snare or whatever -- good lucks is commonly a marketable asset. Likely 99 per cent social conditioning, but so it goes.
Posted by Forest | March 29, 2008 1:32 PM