In the U.S., maternity leave isn't a right

At the risk of being hung, drawn, and quartered, accused of heresy or treason (or both), I don't think that there should be a mandatory "paid" maternity leave.

Admittedly, my view might be tinged with my view of this whole "pregnancy is a disability" craziness that's ecome popular as well (it *isn't* a disability, people need to get over themselves!).

But at the end of the day, pregnancy is (hopefully) a voluntary decision on the part of the employee. The consequences of that decision aren't limited to "I get to spend the next 18 years minimum carin for this cild", they affect everything else - including employment.

"Appropriate length" however is a trickier issue. Too many mothers are "forced" to retun to work after an arbitrary period, which is bound to affect their interaction with the baby. It's all well and good to farm caring for a kid out to a nanny, but is that really "optimal" for the moterchild?

So too short a time period for maternity leave, especially a "fixed" one, isn't adaptive enough to the parent and child.

Which is not to say I have a possible answer, because I don't. To my mind, the whole thing is trying to enforce arbitrar standards to something that cannot be categorized so easily, and s generically.

Lisa, I have good news and bad news. You'll be happy to know you live in a state that just passed the Paid Family Leave Act.

"New Jerseyans will be eligible to take up to six weeks of paid family leave to care for a newborn or adopted child or a sick parent, spouse, or child. Workers will receive two-thirds of their regular pay up to a maximum of $524 a week." But here's the bad news: unfortunately for you, "benefits will begin being paid after July 1, 2009 to allow the fund time to build sufficient resources." So the only way you'll benefit is if you go for #3 (I did and recommend it!)

I took 11 weeks with #1 (3 of which were school holiday weeks, I was a teacher). I had saved up my leave days for five years, and I only had to take a couple of days unpaid.

With #2, I was a fed, and was able to get leave donations to cover the 10.5 weeks I was out.

I'm okay, I had the financial resources to do what I wanted (I was ready to go back to work both times, except for losing the baby weight!). I had good day care, and supportive employers. I'm one of the lucky ones.

One thing I forgot to say. Work as long as you can, so you can spend your leave with the baby on the outside. I worked up until the day before with both of mine, and am glad I did. There's no reason to stop working at 36 weeks unless you want to. I did not.

I worked until delivery for both kids, mainly because I didn't make it to my due date either time. #1 was kind enough to be born on the weekend (10 days early) but #2 decided to come mid-week, 3 weeks early. I typed an email to my boss in between contractions letting her know that my maternity leave was starting immediately and I woudn't be on a critical conference call the next day. Oh well, we all survived and the company didn't go under. Go figure.

I received short term disability pay for both leaves. There was a little loophole that said you could take as much time as your doctor signed for and mine signed for 12 weeks. I also had saved up tons of vacation so ended up taking about 15 weeks paid for both kids. My company now has 8 weeks paid maternity leave guaranteed which is considered great, but I found that even 3.5 months wasn't truly enough. I was exhausted!

Unfortunately, I don't think gov't is going to touch this one, not with all the other issues going on right now. But I'd like to see more companies step up and give paid maternity and paternity leaves, as well as options to phase back into work. Mine does, and I know that it leads to a lot of employee loyalty.

Moonwolf - It's not a disability, but it is covered under the Family and Medical Leave Act. Under this law even you could take off time for an illness or family medical emergency, but for some reason everyone blames the preggos for taking advantage of it. I know a lady who used FMLA when she got gastric bypass surgery. I would say that was voluntary. I know another one who used it to take care of her sick father. I don't think pay should be mandatory either, but FMLA serves its purpose well by protecting the jobs of people who need to take time off for medical reasons.

I worked until delivery and then took every minute of the 3 months afforded to me by FMLA. My boss was very understanding and helpful. I found it interesting that I and other maternity-leave partakers found limited support from some (not all) of the older women in the office. There was a subtle attitude of, "I was back to work within 2 weeks to avoid being fired so why should things be different now?"

It was hard enough coming back when I did--I can't imagine what they went through back in the day. That said, I wonder why there wasn't more genuine joy on their part that things have changed for the better.

I do think that we could approach the standards of other first-world countries by requiring large companies to provide some compensation during maternity leave.

More bad news: It doesn't matter that Lisa lives in NJ - she WORKS in NY and therefore the NJ law would not apply to her.

I like the way NJ is handling things: via payroll deductions that cost each employee about $33 per year. The employer doesn't pay into the account at all. NJ is the third state (behind WA and CA) to offer such a program. I hope the kinks are worked out and more states follow suit.

We adopted our daughter and were fortunate enough to be there for her birth- unfortunately I live in MA. and worked for a company out of CA.- I had no maternity leave coming to me - So I had 4 days off to get used to being a mom - and then tried my best to work as flexible a day as possible -
If I had not worked in a smaller office in MA - and had worked out of our headquarters in CA. I was told I would have gotten 3 weeks off paid - but they did not want to set a bad example by giving me time off

Any time off is such a blessing when you are a new parent - either paid or unpaid !!

Needless to say I when I was able I left that company.

mommymoo, i recently posted about the most adoption-friendly employers:
http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/getdoc/efe820c2-072d-4cf4-8151-b6d89b4ba935/Best-Adoption-Friendly-Workplaces-List

and here's my article about how more employers are paying the equivalent of maternity leave benefits for adoptions:
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1630572,00.html

here's my deal. i get 10 weeks disability for a c-section, paid, plus one week "parental" leave, plus vacation, which in my case is six weeks. that's the paid part; my employer holds my job for me for 12 months, tho the rest is unpaid. i know, i know. just remember i earn journalist pay, and that i'm married to a musician, and that my three-year-old eats like a horse...

the numbers for Canada are misleading, they only count the maternal leave. A working woman who has a baby here is eligible for (paid) maternal and Parental leave. They add up to 50 weeks, and the parental leave can be split with the father.

With my first child I was an undergrad so I took the three convenient weeks until the next semester started. With my second son I was a grad student and I had an instrument down in the lab so we stopped by the lab on the way home from the hospital. I was in my first year of working with my next child: 6 weeks off (mandatory because of Dr. release issue) but only 4 weeks full pay. My next two were 6 weeks full pay. Which was best? Hard to say. I have excellent daycare now (and the income to pay for it) so I don't feel bad about coming back to work.

Parenting is a balancing act. My career has definitely suffered because I have children. I knew that going into the workplace. I chose a field where I can find fulfillment without the need to climb the corporate ladder. I do believe that I have it all. I just don't need to have the MOST.

I think you forgot to mention the fact of taxes that is paid in Europe and other countries that have those great leaves. I do agree that the U.S. should have better leaves but that means there needs to be requirements to earn it. Most European countries have taxes ranging from 15 to 25% that comes from the check(higher for scandanvian countries) plus they have VAT on top of regular purchases. I believe if a person is working so many hours for a certain set of time that paid a certain amount of taxes should have at least 3 to 6 months paid le

tarna, i don't think 15-25% taxes is high...the majority of americans pay that much, if not more...

Lisa - I received 6 weeks of partial pay from my company and took an extra two weeks unpaid. I was ready to go back to work for the most part, but I can't help feeling that 8 weeks is a little early to consign a baby to day care full-time (no matter how great the care). I would definitely like employers to consider flex-time for new moms - at least for the first year. When you consider how many times your child will be sick after first being introduced to a day care setting, a flexible schedule is essential.

Viviana...some of us "older" mothers are glad that things are changing. I hope my daughter (who is now 22) will have more choices with maternity leave than I did. I was out four months with each of my children. Through a combination of 8 weeks of C-section recovery (short-term disability) and saved vacation time, I was paid for all time out, but that wasn't standard. And, I won't forget feeling like I was doing something awful (by my co-workers) at the time. I remember how hard it was to leave my babies even at four months and you can be sure that those women I supervise who take maternity leave get an empathetic ear (even when they return and need to take sick time with their babies). We need to support one another!

I will never forget the response I got back in the 90's from my {male} boss when I became pregnant with my third after 2 previous maternity leaves, which were unpaid except for disabilty and vacation time: "oh no, not again!" He complained about the deal I was getting - 3 extra "vacations" - which the men in the office were not allowed to take. We've come a long way, baby!

Viviana - I think your answer is right here when you said:

It was hard enough coming back when I did--I can't imagine what they went through back in the day.

Women who led the way to the opportunities you have today are not often shown appreciation for those efforts. And honestly, they missed a lot of things by being the collective trailblazers. I am in my 50's and I still had more opportunities than the women 5 years older than me. This has been a process over 40 years to get here, maybe letting them know you understand their sacrifices as a generation would go a long way to their changing their attitude.

Just a thought.

I took off 16 weeks: 8 were STD (fully paid), 2 were vacation, and the final 6 were paid family leave (California; so I was paid a percentage of my salary). I was glad to have this much time, even if about half was with a pay cut. I worked up until I had to leave due to pregnancy complications (led to having the baby arrive 2 weeks early). I would have loved to take off more time--my daughter was just becoming more fun to interact with when I had to go back to work. But financial considerations meant that I had to go back.
My husband wished he could have taken more time--he used 2 wks of vacation to be with our daughter. And his job did not qualify for the California PFL program.

As someone who come from the UK I find the maternity leave situation in the USA apalling. I don't see why women should be punished for having children. It is after all, what we are biologically programmed to do and it infuritates me when people don't understand this. I see comments from Men who don't think maternity leave should be mandetory and i wonder if their mother dropped them off at a day car center when they were 12 weeks old. Probably not. I don't understand that in a country which lectures the world about family vaules can't install them domestically. Can anyone honestly say it is 100 per cent morally and practically right to seperate a child for up to 9 hours a day from their mother....?

I am a registered nurse at a large hospital, where the majority of employees are female. I think it's ridiculous that such a large company that makes so money, chooses to skimp on such things as maternity leave, but will spend nearly 8 million dollars on other things. Employees must use their vacation and disability time. I am 21 weeks pregnant and it was not planned. I will barely have enough time saved to stay out for 6 weeks. It makes me angry that companies can be so cheap!

I had my son in 2005. I was 6 weeks pregnant when I started my job, so I didn't qualify for FMLA. My employer legally could have fired me for taking leave; they didn't, but they could have. That's the aspect of family leave that I find appalling in the US.

I was not eligible for paid leave through my company. I could only afford to take 6 weeks of leave unpaid. I planned to work until I went into labor. My son went past due, so I started my leave the day I was supposed to be induced. That seemed like a safe bet, but apparently, I am one of the tiny percentage of women for whom induction drugs DO NOT WORK, so I got to sit at home for another week waiting to go into labor naturally. My son was born by c-section five days later. I had to beg my doctor to clear me to return to work five weeks postpartum because I could not afford to be out of work any longer. (My daycare dumped me without notice a week later - those first couple of months were really hard.)

These days, I have private short-term disability insurance. When we're ready for #2, I'll be covered by my employer's short term disability plan AND my private plan, so 100% of my leave will be covered.